Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
