im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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