I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
