Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
