if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
