My liver just broke up with me...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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