hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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