Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
