why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
