i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
