Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
