I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
