Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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