bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize