im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
