if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
