there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
