It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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