so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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