I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
