Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
