TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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