Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
