Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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