Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
oh god the rape fog is back!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
