what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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