i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
