It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
