Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
