i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
