dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
