Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
