Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
