this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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