Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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