hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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