dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
