Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
