so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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