it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Vodka?
Forever.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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