Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.

(1-607): View more from New York

I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back

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(408): View more from California

Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.

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(616): View more from Michigan

This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.

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(386): View more from Florida

Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now

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(970): View more from Colorado

Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.

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(394): View more from

Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night

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