i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
