My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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