oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
