didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
