Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Who died my cat blue again?
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