Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
