Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
