he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
