whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize