So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
