So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize