But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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