What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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