We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Randomize
