My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
