Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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