Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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