He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
