He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
